At a Precipice

Upon our elusive connection, I was inevitably thrust to the ledge

But I was safe from falling because of the railing

A railing that I erected

But we got closer

Physically, emotionally, compatibly

The railing began to disappear

I was still leaning over the edge, even as the railing faded

I knew it was disappearing, yet I did not step back

This is the point of no return

When I usually take a giant leap back

I run.

Only this time I’m not leaping back, I’m not running

I’m falling.

Slowly, but surely, I am indeed falling

But in the fall, I feel alive, I feel special

I have always been full of bad ideas

Is this one of them?

I have ignored the vanishing safety rail

Free-fall is about to commence

Do I grasp for whatever or whoever could pull me back?

Or do I just…fall?

Falling makes one feel elated and insouciant.

But falling can hurt.

It can completely crush you.

Is it worth it?

To fall without knowing

if I will land flat on my face on a bed of sharp nails,

or slide delicately and gracefully onto a fluffy, amorphous cloud…?

Is it worth it?

If you could hear my thoughts, how would you react?

Would you push me?

Would you pull me back?

Would you meet me at the edge, take my hand and jump with me?

I am standing, slipping

at this great precipice, waiting.

Waiting to fall,

Waiting to be pulled back,

Waiting for a release,

That may never come.

It Must've Been My Fault

My shirt was low-cut,

     so it must’ve been my fault

I was wearing the short skirt,

     so it must’ve been my fault

I wore three-inch heels,

     so it must’ve been my fault

I was walking alone,

     so it must’ve been my fault

It was after dark,

     so it must’ve been my fault

I had had a drink,

     so it must’ve been my fault

I danced with him at the club,

     so it must’ve been my fault

I left the club alone,

     so it must’ve been my fault

He followed me,

     so it must’ve been my fault

My car was in the parking garage,

     so it must’ve been my fault

He looked decent,

     so it must’ve been my fault

I couldn’t run fast enough,

     so it must’ve been my fault

He’s sitting in jail,

It wasn’t my fault.

Home No More

Did I ever belong to you
Or you belong to me
Did we ever find a common ground
I felt nothing but disdain for thee

I was your first
I thought of you as home
But no comfort, no safety
I was actually on my own

My parents adored you
Next to me, you were their world
But then you unrightfully stole from me
The first to call me, "little girl"

But your greed did not sleep
Nor did I for nine long years
Where you should have brought me happiness,
You left me drowning in tears

Although you fancy this frightful role
These tears are not mine to weep
You may spur me with your sadistic scepter
But my strength and dignity I shall keep

For as of now you and I are no longer bound
You belong to a time gone by
Not a thought nor tear for you will I ever again shed
From your colossal entombment, I now break free and fly