At a Precipice

Upon our elusive connection, I was inevitably thrust to the ledge

But I was safe from falling because of the railing

A railing that I erected

But we got closer

Physically, emotionally, compatibly

The railing began to disappear

I was still leaning over the edge, even as the railing faded

I knew it was disappearing, yet I did not step back

This is the point of no return

When I usually take a giant leap back

I run.

Only this time I’m not leaping back, I’m not running

I’m falling.

Slowly, but surely, I am indeed falling

But in the fall, I feel alive, I feel special

I have always been full of bad ideas

Is this one of them?

I have ignored the vanishing safety rail

Free-fall is about to commence

Do I grasp for whatever or whoever could pull me back?

Or do I just…fall?

Falling makes one feel elated and insouciant.

But falling can hurt.

It can completely crush you.

Is it worth it?

To fall without knowing

if I will land flat on my face on a bed of sharp nails,

or slide delicately and gracefully onto a fluffy, amorphous cloud…?

Is it worth it?

If you could hear my thoughts, how would you react?

Would you push me?

Would you pull me back?

Would you meet me at the edge, take my hand and jump with me?

I am standing, slipping

at this great precipice, waiting.

Waiting to fall,

Waiting to be pulled back,

Waiting for a release,

That may never come.